Allsorts of Stuff

Juggling Emotions

I’m into the new year now thinking of where I want to go in life, what I want next? To be honest, I do not have the faintest idea where I am heading. The job market is proving difficult to crack for me and I would be rich as anyone if I could earn a penny for everytime someone I know who works tells me how I should just take any job and get working or says it isn’t as bad as I make out. I’m out of a relationship recently, well recently in one way and not in others. I’m getting to know myself and how I interact with the women I know a lot better. I don’t like a lot of what I am seeing about myself but I know I have a golden sorbet centre that most people would find palatable.

2011 wasn’t the best year I’ve had, I lost both my remaining grandparents, one on either side. I wasn’t able to continue working due to the lack of funds at my last job as a web designer and a slight increase in stress has lead to me believe that depression has become easier to notice in me. I am still finding my sleep patterns erratic, although am always trying to take steps to fix this. Concluding that a lot of my late nights are down to gaming and other computer/tv based activities I have a plan to read more soon as I get the books I ordered with my Waterstones voucher I got for christmas. I am not 100% sure however, that reading will ultimately help as I have often found I find it hard to leave a gripping story and tend not to read boring books.

Back to the stress bit, possibly resulted in some health issues, gaming might have along with my weird co-ordination when typing and using mouse or touchpad caused some repetitive strain injuries, particularly in the middle fingers on the hand that I broke the wrist of. I’m not sure that last sentence was grammatically sound but it’ll do.

So yeah, I have ideas of what to do with my life. My music is always going to be there. A big part of me revolves around music, whether it be listening to it, making it, dancing to it, I want to teach it somewhat using my tutorials but there is no substitute for one on one collaborations and I hope to get some of those going over the years if I can. I am a little behind on the RNA Website I am currently developing as my motivation as suffered, due to reasons already mentioned among other things.

I still seem to find time for others lately, helping out a friend takes my mind off my own problems and makes me feel useful, giving me some small boost to my motivation and taking away some of the stress, sleep might be finding me in the small hours of the morning, say 3am – 6am I drop off and waking to the face the day a lot later than I’d like means I tend to do naff all with my day. For three solid days this week I have done very little but play games. On the positive side I have a new hanger on wheels for my clothes, meaning I can take the weight of clothes off my ever failing wardrobe hanger in the bedroom and hopefully it won’t fail me as much. I can probably move most of the clothes lying on my dresser too. Tomorrow hopefully brings a fresh start, clearing out my flat with my mum and getting rid of some junk I hope. Hope everyone reading is having a better start to the new year than I am.

Thanks for reading,



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