I feel like something out of the SAW films, crawling away from the mental torment you seem to be giving me, I can’t make sense of it, I’m drowning in a sea of my lack of everything, stretching out for a glimmer of hope only to be pulled back by my own recollections.
I can’t busy myself except with so called procrastinations, distracting me from the true path, truly because the true path is torn apart and broken beyond repair as far as I can see, people sometimes shed some light on it and I see a clear stretch for a while but it fades as quick as it arrived and I am left scratching my head again.
I keep retreating into the cave and taking my own easy way out, the bitterness will never go away I know this, my mistakes haunt me til the end of my days, whereas other people seem to be oblivious to their ways, seeking only to profit from whatever they can, through any means possible.
Death might be sweet release to some from this, but although I stand on the brink of that attitude, there is a resolve in me that I am not capable of that end, am I forever to teeter on the edge of this cliff, watching all that I wish to happen slip away past, as if on a never ending conveyor belt.
Not armed with a fishing net of any kind, can feel so useless as you know only you can help yourself.