Deep in Thought
Afflicted with an open heart, I stood before so many, so willing. None took me as I was.
One I was generous, favours in times of need, she would rather be with someone else.
One I just loved, but she changed, she expected, she accused, so I commited
Then one offered me escape I took it, then I asked to stay, she would not have me, she would rather torture me without meaning to, while I hope that another comes that more right for me than her.
Another strikes a deal with me, hoodwinked into this, I wonder how I am played by so many, am I fool an instrument of some kind, if that is what I am then I do not mind to be consigned to some antique collection, in the back of an old cupboard.
Yes I am a bitter being, I have been dealt these cards and they have left a bitter taste in my mouth, I am no saint, but I do not deserve to be bitter much longer, while the bile gathers in my throat, i could turn many ways.
Spit in the face of consolation, selfishness, insecurity and greed, turn to it myself, or remove the cancer from my life.
So far some of the cancer has removed itself, some has grown on me so much I doubt I could part with it but some I may ignore as it gets the message, if a deal is struck, then it is a deal until spoke otherwise, it works for both parties. Right now this is not the case, hope is something to cling to, maybe she is thinking the same thing. Maybe she has not got the message yet, still heading down the wrong road. I’ve been there my sweet, it does not last forever.