Mind was racing . . .
So I’m sat in, as my dad isn’t so good and a trip to theirs rather than a quick trip to town for a meal out, isn’t a great idea for me, I see nobody is really online on psn, we all know how sociable facebook is these days. So I figured I’d try decipher my mind today, post some form of a blog entry. No idea where to start today.
Recently a friend of mine has been going through a tough time, I try to help but I’m obviously not doing good at it, or he doesn’t want my help. I get that last one a lot, I find, I have been going through tough times myself since I was 16, recently things have improved, but I know deep down am still not right. Might be that I just don’t understand emotions that well.
So my friend left his job, now I’d be fine with that, but I don’t know why he didn’t wait til he found something else, the market is not kind to people who walk out of there jobs, I’m probably a little more intelligent or with it shall we say than this person, I’m not rubbing it in, this friend is awesome, is a great talent, has skills I don’t possess, but I think he dropped the ball like a clanger with this one, but to me, the main issue isn’t the rough times, but the lies, if you are not honest with yourself and to health professionals, how can you expected to progress?
So basically I think in essence, I was told I don’t understand depression, maybe I don’t fully, I’m not an expert, but I do know one thing, this person once told me, I don’t want to ever be on the dole, its shit, or something of the sort, i’m paraphrasing, so now back on the dole whatcha gonna do, when the doctor, the job centre and your parents come raining down on you, brother!
Yeah I did just do a hulk hogan esque comment there.
I think it affects me more to see this person throw his job away now I am in one full time for the first time and cherishing it cos i know how lucky I am. I don’t like having to get up at 7.30 – 8am then having just a few hours each day to do my own thing, but it pays, I want to buy things, get my studio/living room kitted out. If I lost my job, I’d be stuck with a massive Virgin bill, mobile contract, food, bills and rent all to pay out of the ever diminishing dole wage, plus I would be stuck apparently in a building in town for just 1 hour less than where I am working now each day, to search for jobs that don’t exist in that capacity, I’m staying put, I like my job, I get on with my colleagues, I find the job simple but challenging enough, it is close to my home, it pays ok.
I want to do my music and gaming more but that will come in time, Sorry for the rant but sometimes we need an exit and this is mine. I’d love to talk more but I don’t want to sit here for too long, gaming time is limited these days!
Feel free to come hang when I stream www.twitch.tv/alwaysmutetheweirdo