So I sit here, lay here, walk about here whatever, wherever I am, wondering why it always seems to go this way.
Would it ever change, even once? Could it be me that is the reason it doesn’t change?
They say be yourself, is that possible when you don’t know who that is yet?
I mean don’t get me wrong, I know I’m a genuinely stand up guy, I give a shit, I don’t let people down if I can help it but isn’t that what most people aspire to be anyway, surely that isn’t what defines me as me?
So I get told, focus on yourself, I even say it to others, I know its good advice, but that isn’t me, so do I look out for number one, as I know I should, or do I help others like I feel myself?
I never know why it never works out, the one long relationship I had to was a drawn out, messy break up, both at fault I think but anything other than that has always been a little short of what I deserve, what I want.
Just once, I want something to spark into life and bring me round to a reality I can get into!