So not wrote in a while, life has been mostly good for me, new job is fairly good, I just had a new pc built, partially did it myself but I needed some help from a good friend. My new keyboard is back lit, feels so smooth, I love it. Getting some new videos on my youtube channel, hopefully this is the start of a long successful run of posting good videos on there. So a full paragraph in and no mention of the topic of isolation.
Life is mostly good, but there is this annoying constant for me, Isolation. I do get out, it isn’t that, it is like a craving for social interaction but soon as I get it I remember how rubbish some people can be, or how little I enjoy it. I like to game, as some may already know, it is possibly an addiction, but I like to socialise sometimes when doing so, lately, that doesn’t seem possible, everyone has lives, I don’t begrudge anyone that, but sometimes I let it get to me, this is my isolation, it drives me to alienate people I think, if someone lies a lot about simple unnecessary things, it really irks me, I will concede I am a hypocrite, I possibly am a culprit for every trivial thing that winds me up.
I just wish Isolation did not bother me, that I could enjoy it, revel in the peace of it. Sometimes I probably do, maybe gaming and chaotic rage aimed at useless team mates or dirty campers, is just my busy, I strive to be a good person, but this chaos that I enjoy so much, I think it makes me hate the good person in me, because without my chaos, people wouldn’t be so keen to get involved?
Thanks for reading,