Today I found myself popping to Tesco to get my ingredients for Harrira, a recipe given to me by a friend early this week, looking forwarding to it, eager to spend today writing, gaming/streaming, cooking this dish and generally enjoying myself, but constantly hounded by this “black dog” or “dark cloud” reminding me what I really want to be doing, or rather who I really want to be doing it with, if you pardon the pun.
I use this blog as an escape, an exit path for all the negative or darker thoughts, sometimes the nice ones too, but to reflect on the past, present and future. A friend of mine is heading out a new adventure, scary stuff I’m not sure I could deal with, so good luck to her!
Trying to eat a bit healthier from now on, though not being strict about it as last night was a takeaway which I am still polishing off today. Curry on a pizza has got to be one of my favourite takeaway dishes these days.
So streaming, what’s coming? Well I think Don’t Starve will be my main game at the moment, I got back into it and am loving it trying to get better at fighting mobs and learn fully how to heal up, it feels like I may need to use the PC version to learn what is really useful using mods then get back on console, or maybe I use my xbox pad on pc? who knows. Check my channel here.
Thanks for reading guys,
Pixc aka AlwaysMuteTheWeirdo
She is the light and the dark, the past, the present and future, but he is not hers, well not in the same way. He can’t see past her, can’t see without her, can’t see with her. He knows and he accepts, but still it doesn’t change, trapped in an emotional cage of his own making.
Looking back wonders if he could have changed the outcome, what would have happened, would they still be this close? would he be free? would he be with her still? What if rears it’s ugly head as always, all he wants is to step out of this, one way or another.
Another comes along, a chance to escape, he takes it, it was fake, not what it seemed, another mistake. Once again another chance to escape, once again, another fake, she was there all along helping him through it, trying to help him escape from her, is she who she seems.
They talk and he feels hope all the time, but always it is dashed on the cliffside as soon as he voices it, like she never knew she had given him such a thing.
Still he tries to escape, maybe his heart is not in it, maybe he can’t, either way he’ll keep trying, because she isn’t joining him in that desolate place they call love.